I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Apparently you make a good broom.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
