Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
