Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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