found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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