honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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