I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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