guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
