Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
