Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
