Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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