Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
