Buhtt sex?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
