i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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