Christians are straight up FREAKS
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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