We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
