i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
