Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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