# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
im six kinds of drunk right now
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
