due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
