ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
