When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
