You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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