____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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