Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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