Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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