It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
