I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
only if we run a train.
done.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
