he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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