Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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