I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
