It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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