I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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