yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
