Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
