I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
