I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
