then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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