Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This is the high leading the old right now
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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