ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
