When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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