never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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