I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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