then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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