yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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