According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
