3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
