Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
