the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
