Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
