I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
