so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
