handjob tips. give me some.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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